CALIPARI'S MUSTANG VS. BROOKS'S F-150: WHO YA GOT?

WHO YA GOT?

RICH BROOKS F-150

PROS:

• Like a rock Built Ford Tough
• Toby Keith Envy
• Has a man-step
• Great for hauling tomatoes
• Definitely not bullshit

CONS:

• Might fall asleep in transit
• Gas mileage? What gas mileage?
• Might leave you wistful for days gone by
• OnStar is not included, but a MedAlert Personal Emergency Response is
• Somehow always ends up in Tennessee after Christmas

JOHN CALIPARI SIGNATURE ROUSH 427 MUSTANG

PROS:

• You won't have any problem recruiting...the ladies
• Black and blue paint job will confuse any Lexington cop
• Guaranteed to produce better results than your last drunken asshole of a car did
• Bruce Pearl hates it
• Will win lots more races than you think it will

CONS:

• Might take off and leave you with all those ladies you picked up in it
• May or may not be responsible for traffic violations that you were previously unaware of
• Even though you managed to score with 10 ladies over the past few weeks, will remind you that five of those didn't count
• Paint colors are sneakily similar to those of the Orlando Magic
• Sandy Bell is omnipresent in the back seat

That's the tale of the tape, kids.  COMMENTERS, F-150 vs. MUSTANG: WHO YA GOT?