A LITTLE MASCOT SODOMY TO START OFF YOUR WEEKEND

No real time to chat today, readers - the great court system of the Commonwealth of Kentucky waits for no man, unless that man's name is Rick Pitino. BOOM. Speaking of extramarital sex, check out this gem from our good friends Spencer Hall and LSU Freek:

So that's our good friend Buddy Bat of the Cincinnati Reds AAA affiliate Louisville Bats getting bent over in front of a bird on an indoor football field. Ricky P. says that's totally normal, nothing to see here, get on with your days, people. And move on we shall, because the Cats and Dores have some challenging (okay maybe not) games ahead of them this weekend.

Kentucky plays LSU at 4 p.m. on SEC Network. No real preview is necessary because, as we all know, LSU is horrible at basketball this year. Trent Johnson is a good coach, but he's got to land some good players in the next recruiting class or his steamboat will land at the bottom of Lake Pontchartrain in a hurry.

After the UK game, take in Vanderbilt at Georgia at 7 on FSN, won't you? This is actually a tough assignment for the Dores in my opinion, as UGA is the best they've been in a while (read: since Sundiata Gaines). Trey Thompkins and Travis Leslie are dangerous, and if Cousins sort of got pushed around by the big guy, A.J.'s really got his work cut out for him. This is a crucial win if the Dores want to keep up their tournament stock and hold on to the 2 spot in the SEC East.

Finally, there's apparently some big conflagration down in Jimmy Buffett's sports palace in Miami between some uncouth Cajuns and some obese obnoxious types from Indiana. We all know how I feel about Indiana in general, so I'm pulling for a Saints victory, however improbable it may be. Have fun watching the game, watch out for random Tebow sightings, and I'll see you Monday.