In Which Howie Long Regrets Dissing the Man-Step

[Scene: After a long day of recruiting, growling, and eating rocks, Coach Rich Brooks climbs out of the back of his kickass 2009 Brooks Edition Ford F-150 at a truck stop before going home to Mrs. Brooks, a barcalounger, and more rocks. Coach Brooks is a senior citizen, therefore the handle and step built into the tailgate is not bullshit.]


Coach Brooks: That was a pretty successful day. Picked up a couple new names on the recruiting trail, got Ortmayer to polish the Bowl trophies again.

/climbs out of back of truck donotaskwhyhewasbackthere


Howie Long: Hey there. That your truck?


CB: /growls

HL: Hey, um, you forgot to put away your "man-step."

/smirks

CB: Grrexcuse me?

HL: ...I said...

CB: I heard you the first time, box-head. If I wanted your opinion, I'd have the Herald-Leader hire you so I could then completely ignore you. You young talking head fount of idiocy, I'm 67 years old, of course I'm using a step. If this thing didn't have a step built in, I'd use a damn ladder.

HL: I'm sorry, I...

CB: SHUT UP. I would tune into your five-headed monstrosity of an NFL pregame show and put it on mute if I cared anything about what you have to say. You know about as much about football as you do about trucks, cell phones, and batteries, which is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL. Now, stop talking, go inside, and get me a Snickers bar before I old-man wrestle your bloated ass into the concrete.

HL: Yes, sir.